This is a clip from Netflix’s ‘Magic For Humans’ starring the show’s Justin Willman performing a variety of tricks at Olive Dell Nudist Ranch. You know, for a ranch I felt there was a surprising lack of spurs. Admittedly, the tricks Justin performs were all pretty impressive, although I had a hard time not getting distracted wondering what was under those censor bars. My guess is rather unsightly privates. I must see them.

In why hasn’t somebody added Miley Cyrus’s ‘Wrecking Ball’ to this news, here’s a home video of Michael Chicoine testing a children’s zipline, despite the fact it’s probably made for kids under 120 pounds and not 220-pound adult men capable of generating so much momentum before hitting the spring brake at the end. Nice backflip though, but apparently he fractured two fingers during the dismount. I’m afraid that will result in a point deduction. “I’ve got my eyes on you, Michael Chicoine,” Death commented via email.

@michaelchicoine #TheAdamProject #TurboTaxAlphorn #epicfail #part2 #failarmy #barstoolsports #zipline #FHV #SchickAsks #stcharlesil #nobreaks ♬ original sound – Michael Chicoine

Thanks to JustA, who agrees weight limits were made to be broken. Bones too.

Because apparently art is everywhere (including in the crisper drawer), these are a couple shots of the fish that Japanese fruit and vegetable artist Kishimoto Takehiro carved into a stalk of broccoli. How about that! I know some kids complain about eating their broccoli, but I love it. Granted I’ve always covered it with so much ranch you can’t see any green and it’s about as healthy as a deep-fried Oreo, but whatever, it all gets eaten, and I get dessert without having a total meltdown and making my mom wish she never had me, the end.

This is a video of musician Lorenzo Vaccaro playing “the supposedly impossible MIDI track Rush E” at a very respectable 152BPM. For reference, that’s about my heart rate on my walk down the driveway to get the mail. My doctor says I’m going to die. My bookie says the same thing! LOL but seriously can I hide out at your place during March Madness?

Keep going for this video, as well as an ultra-quick Maple Leaf Rag, and the original Rush E video for reference.

@yolo.itslolo Reply to @jomom1234 I DIDNT THINK ID BE ABLE TO DO THIS SO SOON #PROGRESS #fyp #rushe #classical #piano #music #xyzbca ♬ original sound – Lorenzo Vaccaro

@yolo.itslolo Reply to @yeetis_fleeetis honestly should I attempt this more and make this a challenge? #fyp #piano #ragtime #mapleleafrag #challenge #classical ♬ original sound – Lorenzo Vaccaro

This is a video of a garbage truck picking up and accidentally dropping an entire trash can into its compactor, popping the can’s wheels off in the process. How perfectly the wheels fly off — it’s like art. I mean if art wasn’t dead. Well, except for tasteful nudes — tasteful nudes are immortal. TRUE STORY: I’m always asking my girlfriend if she wants me to draw her like one of my French girls, and she’s always reminding me I don’t have any French girls, and can’t draw. I’ll never stop asking though, because– “You’re a pervert.” I’m a romantic, dammit!

@havenothadmycoffee I laughed for WAY TOO LONG at this last night! #LMAO #LOL #OhNo ♬ Jackass – TV Theme Players

Thanks again to JustA, who will let me draw that drawing one day, I just know it.

Because the moment some people put on virtual reality goggles all sense of the analog world disappears and they become fully immersed in the Matrix, this is a video of Ashley Cacioppo’s dad diving into his television from a VR balance beam, breaking the screen. Just where the hell did he think he was?! And how has he outsmarted Death long enough to procreate and have adult children? These are the thoughts that keep me up at night. Also: is she asleep? Is it safe to fart now?

@ladbible Wait for it…🤣😂 🎥 IG/ashleycacioppo #ladbible #fyp #foryoupage #dadsoftiktok #vrgame #virtualreality ♬ original sound – LADbible

Thanks to JustA, who agrees virtual reality isn’t for everyone.