This is a year’s worth of photos (a respectable 5TB worth) starring nine different varieties of mushrooms growing like alien boners as captured and turned into a 3-minute macro timelapse by Youtuber Another Perspective. Hey, everybody needs hobbies. Mine are pissing off my neighbors and running from the police. YOLO.

This is a clip from How It’s Made taking a tour inside the Duke’s Mayonnaise factory to show how the condiment is manufactured in quantity. It was pretty fascinating to watch. Of course if you don’t have the five minutes to watch the video I’ll just tell you how it’s made: not in a way that makes it any more appetizing.

This is a video of Adam Savage designing, building, and testing a dart shooting helmet (built using D-DART Pro Blasters, Amazon link), complete with revolving warning light on top and a laser sight. As far as dart-shooting helmets go, this is probably the best one I’ve seen. Of course it’s also the only one I’ve seen. It’s like when my brother tells me I’m the worst brother he’s ever had. Because I’m the only brother he’s ever had, that also makes me the best brother, and that’s usually when I let him out of the headlock and send him on his way with an extra noogie for the road.

Keep going for the video, but the good stuff is really in the last two minutes.

Thanks to my dad, who’s coming to visit next week. Looking forward to it!

This is a clip from Netflix’s ‘Magic For Humans’ starring the show’s Justin Willman performing a variety of tricks at Olive Dell Nudist Ranch. You know, for a ranch I felt there was a surprising lack of spurs. Admittedly, the tricks Justin performs were all pretty impressive, although I had a hard time not getting distracted wondering what was under those censor bars. My guess is rather unsightly privates. I must see them.

In why hasn’t somebody added Miley Cyrus’s ‘Wrecking Ball’ to this news, here’s a home video of Michael Chicoine testing a children’s zipline, despite the fact it’s probably made for kids under 120 pounds and not 220-pound adult men capable of generating so much momentum before hitting the spring brake at the end. Nice backflip though, but apparently he fractured two fingers during the dismount. I’m afraid that will result in a point deduction. “I’ve got my eyes on you, Michael Chicoine,” Death commented via email.

@michaelchicoine #TheAdamProject #TurboTaxAlphorn #epicfail #part2 #failarmy #barstoolsports #zipline #FHV #SchickAsks #stcharlesil #nobreaks ♬ original sound – Michael Chicoine

Thanks to JustA, who agrees weight limits were made to be broken. Bones too.

Because apparently art is everywhere (including in the crisper drawer), these are a couple shots of the fish that Japanese fruit and vegetable artist Kishimoto Takehiro carved into a stalk of broccoli. How about that! I know some kids complain about eating their broccoli, but I love it. Granted I’ve always covered it with so much ranch you can’t see any green and it’s about as healthy as a deep-fried Oreo, but whatever, it all gets eaten, and I get dessert without having a total meltdown and making my mom wish she never had me, the end.