This is a supercut of musician Luke Pickman performing The Lick on 111 different instruments in 111 seconds. That’s one instrument every second. I know because I just crunched the numbers. It wasn’t easy using the new common core math, and things got pretty hairy there for a bit with the decimals and long division, but I made it. I remember back in high school math class not being allowed to use a calculator on a test because, “You won’t always have a calculator in real life.” Thank goodness Mrs. McKinley was a math teacher and not a fortune teller.

Because who doesn’t wouldn’t ketchup that looks exactly like kid’s glue, Youtuber and food scientist Barry Lewis decied to try to make his own transparent ketchup after repeatedly being sent a faked photo of the clear condiment. In the end he makes a pretty decent version (recipe HERE), the main issue being the consistently is much runnier than traditional ketchup. Still, he did it. So Heinz, if you were looking for a way to blow a bunch more money like you did with the purple, green, and blue ketchups of the early 2000’s, have at it. Just remember: there’s a reason Crystal Pepsi doesn’t exist anymore, and that’s because Pepsi sucks. Food for thought. Probably a hotdog with mustard only.

533 attempts in the making, this is a video of Guitar Hero 2 world record holder CarnyJared full combo-ing Lynyrd Skynyrd’s ‘Free Bird’ at 300% speed. Talk about fingers of fury! Jared says he has all the Guitar Hero 2 world records now, which I can neither confirm nor disconfirm, but based on this video alone I’d say he probably does. But how fast can he make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Asking for somebody who’s already ready for lunch at 9:59 and has a meeting at 10:00.

This is a clip of a bear doing battle against a giant inflatable reindeer Christmas decoration in someone’s yard while another bear cautiously watches, too wary of the reindeer’s antlers to join the fray. Despite multiple attacks, the reindeer manages to stay intact and inflated, and the person filming claims they think the reindeer actually won the fight, although I’d love to see them say that to the bear’s face.

@pubity The bear really accepted defeat at the end 🤣🤣🤣 #Pubity (donna hargett via @ViralHog ♬ original sound – Pubity

This is the entirety of the 1988 Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special lovingly remastered in 1080p high definition. Now I’d be lying if I said I remember it, but I probably did watch it. What can I say, 1988 was a long time ago, and my memory isn’t what it used to be. What used to burn as bright as the sun is now little more than a fart ignited by an idiot at a holiday party, melting the tinsel of his ugly Christmas pants.

Keep going for the whole video, as well as three clips of different highlights.

Available from Etsy shop GiftCouturePaper, the Cheeseburger Wrapping Paper Set comes with everything you need to wrap a 6-piece cheeseburger of gifts: two sheets of sesame seed bun, one of burger patty, one cheese, one lettuce, and one tomato. All the sheets measure 24″ x 18″, so you won’t exactly be able to wrap the Porsche 911 you got me for Christmas, but you could wrap the keys, the owner’s manual, a pair of driving gloves, fuzzy dice for the rearview, a pine tree air freshener, and a Get Out Of Jail Free card for when I accidentally crash into the jail trying to do burnouts to impress my friends in the yard.