This is a video of pianist Vinheteiro performing the Soviet anthem with the help of an AK-47. And by help I mean detriment, because there’s no way a rifle is as good as a hand at playing piano. Obviously, I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t half-hoping he was going to shoot up the piano after the performance. And by half-hoping I mean full-hoping. Truthfully my hope was actually above full and if it had been measured would have broken the apparatus doing the measuring. Talk about a serious let down. In the realm of serious let downs this was easily up there between Christmas 1997 and my sixth birthday.

Because the internet will provide, this is a weird video of TikTok/Instagram user issei0806 jumping into his own floating body parts. Now I’ve seen videos like this in the past, but this is hands down the best one out there. Five out of five stars and I regret everything in my life that isn’t me watching this video.

keep going for the video, as well as a short behind-the-scenes clip that makes it that much better.

@issei0806

僕の頑張りをみて下さい。今回は声ありで😆##音ハメ

♬ Jack Stauber Buttercup – JOSHY

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A post shared by いっせい【ISSEI】 (@issei_0806) on Oct 15, 2020 at 9:22pm PDT

Hey I’ve got some things that need taking care of on a weekday instead of a weekend day and as much as I would have liked to have gotten them out of the way already *spits* I’m angry about it. Anyways I’ll be back tomorrow and we WILL be playing dodge ball during PE, mark my words.

These are several shots of Pistachio, a puppy born on a farm on the Italian island of Sardinia that, unlike the other five of its littermates, was born with a green hue to its fur. WHY was he born with a green hue to its fur? Let’s consider the possibilities, shall we?:

Fascinating. Apparently Pistachio’s fur continues to lighten every day, and, in a very short while, will be just as white as the the rest of his siblings’. And *closing story book* from that day forward people who meet him will wonder why he was ever named Pistachio in the first place.

Thanks to my mom, who informed me I was 8-pounds 11-ounces of pure screaming joy when I entered the world.

This is a video of an upstairs bathroom that’s been sealed being quickly filled with water via a fire hose until it decides it just can’t take it anymore and collapses into the living room below. I’m not sure what, if anything, we were supposed to learn from this experiment besides the Wet Bandits are clearly still out there doing their thing, and I’d install a security system or an 8-year old sociopath in your home if you plan on traveling for during the holidays this year.

This is some behind-the-scenes footage from an Esurance commercial starring a couple on a roller coaster, and the guy clearly isn’t a big fan of roller coasters (a person working on the commercial said it was actually one of his greatest fears). You’d never be able to tell from the final cut of the commercial though, although it only features a very few seconds of them actually on the ride. The things we do to pay the bills, am I right? Take today for instance. “Both your parents went to work while you sit at home and do nothing.” Now who’s going to drive me to the mall?

Keep going for the behind-the-scenes footage, followed by the actual commercial.