Because what else is there to do in the Antarctic besides trying to avoid being eaten by orcas, this is a video of a leopard seal singing its beautiful song on an iceberg. Wow, I can see now why pirates must have mistook them for mermaids. Ahooga! “What is wrong with you?” Everything — everything is wrong with me. All my imperfections are what make me so perfect.

This is a video of the 1,002 drone light show performed by Sky Elements Drones of Fort Worth, Texas for the 4th of July, featuring American and Texan imagery. The show was definitely impressive, but the way the video was shot was equally impressive. During the performance, the Guinness World Record for “largest aerial sentence formed by multirotor/drones” was also achieved. That sentence? ‘Happy 4th Of July 2023.’ That was some pretty low-hanging fruit if you ask me. With 1,002 drones you could have at least spelled ‘EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS.’ Shoot, I’d be half tempted to beat this record myself if I had the drones or cared at all.

This is a video of Devon Bowker sitting in his car (presumably in line at Dunkin’) and performing an impression of a Keurig coffee maker. I’d say it’s a pretty accurate impression of how my Keurig used to sound when I first bought it. Now, four years later it does not sound like that. It sounds like a dying robot. And not a robot dying a peaceful death either, one dying like it owed some robot gangster a lot of money.

Keep going for the video, and no, you can’t have the minute of your time back.

@devonthenatureguy How’d I do? @Keurig #keurig #coffee #impression #americasgottalent #thrivingtalent ♬ original sound – Devon Bowker

This is a video from ill-prepared spelunkers James and Edward of Youtube channel ActionAdventureTwins exploring a water-filled cave when their only headlamp goes out. Apparently they had others, but the batteries died and they kept going deeper anyways. Really? You ought to have your adventuring licenses taken away! Thankfully for them, the duo is able to retrace the relatively linear path back, and eventually run into another group of explorers, who should have kicked them back into the dark and run away to teach them a lesson.

Keep going for the video, lights out at 11:00.

This is a video of Dora’s older sister and diver Elora Explora befriending a tiny octopus at the Off The Wall Dive Center and Resort in Belize. She names him Eggbert, and occasionally bringing him treats, which, PROTIP: is a great way to solidify a friendship. Eggbert even solicits Elora’s help moving a log during one visit. How precious is that? Also, was this made as some sort of don’t eat octopus PSA? Because I already don’t. Don’t eat arms — it’s in the bible. Or at least my bible. It’s actually more of a manifesto.

In other, far less successful stealing news than the previous post, this is some security cam footage from Atlanta nail salon Nail1st, where a man comes in with a bag over his hand and demands everyone’s money. The problem is, nobody cares. The lady in the mustard colored shirt — you’d swear she was asleep she cares so little. Now that’s what I call staying cool, calm, and collected. Realizing he’s not going to get anything, he quickly gets frustrated and leaves empty-handed. Or rather, with just the empty bag he had on his hand.

Atlanta police are searching for a man who tried his best to rob an nail salon but couldn’t quite get the job done https://t.co/6Bw2afL4fU pic.twitter.com/6i8sTHMXH4

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) July 7, 2023