This is some Ring security cam footage of a Woodbridge, Virginia home’s ceiling randomly collapsing. Per the homeowner: ‘Just a normal day. I went down to the basement to do some laundry. While downstairs I heard a huge crash. The basement ceiling shook. Came upstairs to find this. No one was hurt, the dogs are fine.’ Thank God the dogs are fine, that’s all I really cared about. Now, based on my professional sleuthing skills, I determined the cause of this collapse is the direct result of the owner being a Cowboys fan, as evidenced by the ‘A MAN’S BEST FRIENDS ARE HIS DOGS AND HIS TEAM’ plaque on the lefthand wall that’s exposed after the lamp falls. “And by the transitive property of mathematics, anyone willing to root for the Cowboys is probably willing to invest in a home with a ceiling held together with nothing but three playoff wins in the last 25 years!” Yeah! Or it’s really hard to properly install a ceiling from horseback with a lasso.