In a clear case of art imitating my life, this is a video from the Perrotin Gallery in Los Angeles of a kinetic wooden sculpture created by artist Barry McGee repeatedly banging its head against the wall. We’ve all been there. I’m there right now. I don’t do this sort of casually head-banging though, I really go for it. I’m either knocking a hole in the wall or knocking myself out, one or the other, but occasionally both.

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This is a video of Polish stunt pilot Lukasz Czepiela landing a specially modified plane (total weight reduced to 940 pounds, main fuel tank moved to rear for harder braking, plus nitrous added for taking off again) on the 87-foot diameter helipad atop the 56-story Burj Al Arab Jumeirah hotel in Dubai (the one that looks like a giant sail). Lukazs practiced the landing over 650 times to make sure he could stop the plane, which requires a minimum of 69 feet to land. That isn’t much room for error. Me? I can land on the length of any sofa. Or a loveseat, although I’ll probably bang my shins then get so pissed I try to destroy it. Just a heads up if I ever crash at your place.

This is a video of internet sensation Mr. Trololo (Eduard Khil) getting a posthumous AI upscaled version of his non-lexical 1976 performance of “I Am Very Glad, as I’m Finally Returning Back Home” that really brought the roof down when the internet discovered it back in 2010. That seems so long ago, doesn’t it? Like a lifetime. And it certainly could have been a lifetime if you’re something that only lives 13 years, like a raccoon or my dream of becoming an astronaut.

Keep going for the video, as well as the original for reference.

Because this is the internet and the internet basically IS the Matrix, here’s a music video from Auralnauts featuring the characters from The Matrix performing Vanilla Ice’s 1990 banger ‘Ice Ice Baby’. It’s pretty much exactly what I expected, which was just what I needed. TRUE STORY: when I was in Mr. Besser’s 4th grade class the girl in front of me turned around and asked if I liked Vanilla Ice but I was unaware of the artist at that time and told her I’d frozen orange juice in an ice cube tray before and it was just okay, so vanilla probably wouldn’t be any better.

This is a video of unfortunate son and college wrestler Spencer Lee’s stage mom Cathy getting so upset he just lost his NCAA semi-final wrestling match to underdog Matt Ramos that she breaks her eyeglasses. Calm down, mom, you’re embarrassing me! Apparently Cathy was a US Olympic alternate in judo back before Spencer was born, so she may be projecting her own inability to make it to a podium. Whatever the case, I’ve got the feeling it’s going to be a pretty dangerous ride home without those glasses.

This is a commercial for a Brazilian driving school (Auto Escola Brasiliense) in the style of Grand Theft Auto. Smart thinking — making things video game themed is definitely how you reach the kids. But do they teach Grand Theft Auto style driving? That’s what I want to know, because I feel like I learned pretty much everything I know about driving from Grand Theft Auto. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had to Pay ‘n’ Spray in real life, but the paint on my car is over an inch thick now.