This is a video of a turtle with a taste for *don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it* kitty, repeatedly harassing a sleeping cat and trying to nip its toes and tail. It even gets a mouthful of fur from its tail at one point. Cleary, these two

This is a video from TikTok user malachichiparker, who spotted a turtle in the road and got out of his vehicle to get it to move — and move it did! That thing leaves a dust trail and catches some air on the rocks! If the tortoise had this sort

Because when it rains it pours turtles (I’d recommend a much stronger umbrella), this is a video of a turtle who somehow managed to get flipped over on its back in a pond (we all have that friend), and the others come to right it before it can embarrasses itself

This is a video of turtle owner Kenny James giving his turtle Sergio a little Hot Wheels car to sit on so he can zoom around the house at breakneck speeds. “Dammit, where was one of those little cars when I needed it?” I imagine Tortoise wondering after his race

This is a video of a couple bush league David Attenboroughs providing live commentary for a group of turtles attempting to stay atop a log and catch some rays after another turtle (they call him Gary but we’ll call him Michelangelo) climbs on the log and starts it rotating in

This is a video captured by Twitter user jamie amalea pappas of two turtles playing in a pond, with one slapping the other’s face while swimming backwards, taunting it. We all have that friend. Or, should I say, we all had that friend before we finally read a self help

This is a video of a group of turtles trying to stay atop a log as it constantly rotates back and forth due to them all moving to compensate because it is constantly rotating back and forth. “Dammit, I was just trying to catch some rays!” I imagine Michelangelo exclaiming

According to the late, great Jedi master Yoda: “Size matters not.” And to prove that point, this is a video from Kruger National Park in South Africa of a small turtle repeatedly chasing lions away from his watering hole. Unfortunately, due to the lack of colored eye mask I couldn’t