The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom features an elaborate build system using the Ultrahand mechanic that allows players to build all sorts of things, from basic wheeled vehicles to fully functional mechas. Or, you know, a man with a fiery waving wiener. These are two videos of such machines, plus a bonus one of a player crawling through a statue’s butt. I doubt this is what Shigeru Miyamoto and Takashi Tezuka had in mind when they made the first Zelda game back in 1986, but you never know. Now, somebody come over and build me one of these in my game, I want to surprise Ganon.

新しい神獣 #ゼルダの伝説 #TearsOfTheKingdom #Zelda #NintendoSwitch pic.twitter.com/uBBAc0HWir

— ZAKUYA (@ZAKUYA_BOTW) May 13, 2023

It hasn't even been 24 hours yet #TearsOfTheKingdom pic.twitter.com/2AkuR8qhwy

— T5G (@Top5Gamingx) May 12, 2023

Because the park still has to find a way to attract visitors without relying on animal abuse, SeaWorld Orlando built Pipeline, the world’s first launched standing roller coaster. And this is a clip from Theme Park Review riding it. I admire that lady’s efforts to hold her hands in the air from time to time. Me? I would have kept my hands in the air THE WHOLE TIME. And my legs. As a matter of fact, I probably would have fallen out of the coaster on the first steep turn, just like I did on Space Mountain in ’89. I still have two free passes to Disney World.

This is a video from SiriusXM of Howard Stern having comedian and Howard Stern impersonator Matt Friend on his show. He’s not much of a convincing Howard visually even with the cheap costume, but he sure does sound like him. If he called me I would definitely think it was Howard. He wouldn’t call me though because my number is blocked from all the times I prank called the show in high school. I was a dumb kid. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a dumb adult, but I was a dumb kid too.

Proof that everyone runs on Dunkin’, this is a video of a raccoon cautiously approaching the drive-thru window at a location and being served a complimentary vanilla frosted donut. The way it reaches for the donut then puts it in its mouth — precious moments. Now, are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Does it involve a raccoon costume and Googling every Dunkin’ location within 25 miles?” Free donuts are my favorite donuts.

@samguptuppy #Raccoon at #Dunkin ♬ original sound – Samantha Jane Guptil

Thanks again to JustA, who agrees the customer before the raccoon must have payed it forward.

Presumably in an effort to unlock the mystery of cats, this is a video from Tom’s Guide editor-in-chief Mike Prospero, who attached a thumb-sized Insta360 Go 2 camera around his cat’s neck and let it explore the great outdoors. This is a brief sample of that exploration. I like how it captured the cat’s feet, it really made me feel like I was that cat. Wait — am I cat? Meow. What the hell was that?!

Thanks to my dad, who agrees if you’re not the lead cat, the view never changes. Okay, maybe that only applies to sled dogs.

This is a short video from Scott Haraguchi, who was fishing from his kayak (which appears to outfitted with an E.T. intergalactic telephone) “about a mile off the southern coast of the Hawaiian island of Oahu” when a large tiger shark tried to take a bite out of his vessel. Scott believes the shark mistook his kayak for a wounded seal and an easy meal. Note to self: never, under any circumstances, even remotely resemble a wounded seal while in the ocean. I don’t care if you’re just dipping your toes in at the beach, pretend you’re a megalodon.

Thanks to JustA, who’s not convinced this isn’t just some clever marketing for the upcoming live action Little Mermaid movie.