Seen here looking like it’s fleeing the scene of a bank robbery, this is a video of Boston Dynamics’ ATLAS humanoid robot demonstrating its latest capabilities in order to deliver a toolbag to a human coworker. In the clip, it picks up a board and makes a bridge for itself and runs across it, navigates some scaffolding, tosses the toolbag up the the worker as casually as it would a dead body, then celebrates a job well done with a flipping barrel roll. The way that thing moves — it’s unnerving. At least to me it is, and I’m not unnerved easily. I fell asleep on a haunted hayride.

Presumably to show Consumer Reports how tests should actually be conducted, this is a video from The Hydraulic Press channel, who created a bracket of different priced kitchen knives, then pitted them against each other to see who will the championship. Me? I would have destroyed all these knives because I am HARDENED VALYRIAN STEEL. I’m kidding, I’m a jelly roll. I auditioned for the part of the Pillsbury Doughboy and got turned down for being too doughy. Admittedly, at any given moment I am at least 2% doughnut by body weight, and I pride myself in that. I can smell a Krispy Kreme from two miles away even before they turn the ‘HOT NOW’ light on.

This is a video highlighting beautiful 15-year old long-haired calico Akkodha, who can say ‘okay’ in English. For reference, my cats can’t say anything that I understand, although their eyes speak volumes. Mostly about hatred and destruction. I’m not convinced Akkodha knows what she’s saying though, because I have the feeling the only thing a cat would actually respond okay to is ‘How would you feel if I died?’ At least my cats. Maybe I’m just projecting.

Note: Some appropriately colorful language from the people filming.

This is a video of a pilot ejecting from an F-35B Lightning II fighter jet at the Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base Fort Worth in Texas after a failed attempted at a vertical landing. Thankfully, the pilot is fine, but the plane? I suspect that’s not just gonna buff out. And those jets are like $80+ million apiece. “Chump change.” Uncle Sam, everyone! He also thinks milk costs $8,000 a gallon.

This is an animated bar graph visualizing the world’s fifteen richest people (royalty excluded) from 1985 – 2023, with their associated companies also highlighted. I learned a lot by watching it. Mostly, that even the poorest of these people is entirely too rich. I don’t even have any money and I still give it all away. Does that mean I’d make a great rich person? Yes, and I’d really like the opportunity to prove it. Unfortunately, rigging Powerball is proving a little more difficult than I originally anticipated.

Available as a 3D printable file from JBV Creative, this sine wave machine features marbles that roll in a sine wave as the machine is cranked. Hate cranking? Get creative and add a motor. Or a car engine! JBV also sells the file for a wave machine that’s only 8 or 16 horseshoes long, in the event your desk is actually a card table. Is this going to be the must-have desk toy for executives everywhere? It may be briefly, but nothing will ever top a Newton’s Cradle. Or, in my case, the plasma globe I bought at a Spencer’s in high school.