This is a video from Tiktok user victormendoza193 starring some baseball sized hail splashing down in a pool, making it look like a wave pool somebody turned up to 11. Could you even imagine getting hit by one trying to catch it on your tongue like a snowflake? *in Street Fighter announcer voice* K.O.! Seriously though, if hail this large was falling here there’s no doubt in my mind I’d be out there taunting God and telling him he can’t hit me. Would he teach me a lesson? *raising casted arm* He always does. “Can I draw a penis on there?” I thought you’d never ask.

@victormendoza193

♬ sonido original – Victor Mendoza

Thanks to JustA, who agrees i

This is a video of a small herd of baby goats being fed their bottles via a cleverly designed milk rack made especially for them. And speaking of milk-filled racks– “Here it comes…” The dairy section at the grocery store. There’s always that one gallon of 2% at the very back I really have to reach for. “Riiight.” Why, what did you think I was going to say? “Boobs?” Come on, what is this — the back of the school bus? Are we going to play MASH and make paper fortune tellers next? Because if so I’m in.

Because, just in case you forgot, this is the internet, here’s a weird video of comedian Brian David Gilbert singing a song about “his desire to effortlessly wear hats without looking like he’s trying to be something that he’s not.” Me? I don’t have that problem. I was born wearing a hat, and my first word was fedora. “He was bald until he was two, his first word was hotdog, and he’s never worn a hat because his head is too big.” Mom! “What?” You SAW ME almost squeeze into that 50-gallon hat at the rodeo.

NOTE: Screaming, surprise wedgie.

This is some home security cam footage of a woman climbing off a kitchen countertop (presumably after visiting her Girl Scout Cookie stash) when her underwear gets caught on a cabinet knob, giving her an atomic wedgie. That scream — my goodness. I’ve only heard a scream like that once before, and then the banshee took out half our village.

@m.o.u.n.s_la_base #drole #hilarious ♬ son original – @M.O.U.N.S@

Thanks again to JustA, who agrees those Girl Scout Cookies were totally worth it is the thing. Especially if they were Somoas or Peanut Butter Patties.

This is a video of a man bringing a sandwich outside for a little al fresco dining action when heavy winds blow his sandwich apart piece by piece, with a slice of salami even getting stuck to his friend’s leg. For reference, I usually tape my salami to my leg so it doesn’t scare anybody. Still, that is unfortunate. Of course outside there is a ten-second rule, so I can only assume he chased down those pieces, reassembled the sandwich, and was rewarded with diarrhea later for his efforts.

Thanks to JustA, who agrees that’s what we call a diet sandwich.

This is a video of a Tennessee cheerleader attempting to retrieve a giant cardboard ‘O’ (from ‘VOLS’, camouflaged a bit on painted floor) left on the court during a recent NCAA basketball game against Arkansas. I like the play-by-play by the announcers. You’d think the cheerleaders, or at least somebody would have noticed the letter out there before the game resumed, but apparently everybody was too focused on the action. Those basketball games are just so exciting, you know? Like sexual encounters, no two are exactly alike. And at least in my case they also share similar themes with sexual encounters, like the constant back-and-forth, need for a half-time, and one team always leaving disappointed.

A Tennessee cheerleader left her letter on the court and needed to get it lol pic.twitter.com/Ay3O8SRga4

— Pub Sports Radio ™ (@PubSportsRadio) March 5, 2022