Sharks: everyone is afraid of them, and people who aren’t are liars. Enter these 12-foot great white shark models created and sold by Etsy shop Cakeboard Designs. Made from fiberglass and resin, they’re available in both hanging ($1,400) and standing ($1,600) models, and will make the perfect addition to your secret lair. Of course for $1,400+ I could make you a way better shark model. Yeah, one that’s still chomping and, yes, it will be me in a plush shark onesie. Now get over here and let me take a bite.

Dream it, and you can achieve it. They aren’t words that I live by anymore, but it is advice I dispense every opportunity I get for those who haven’t become jaded and given up hope yet. Not too long ago I thought stacking 518 Jenga pieces on top of a single vertical piece was surely impossible, but now Youtuber and stacker of things MENGA has constructed a 1,002-piece Jenga tower atop a single vertical piece. For reference, my record is seven pieces before I lost interest, kicked the small tower over, then went outside and crawled in a storm sewer to hang out with my raccoon friends. Oh the times we’ve had! They hiss and scratch and bite and I run and throw food behind me and cry.

Keep going for the video, which ends with the tower’s destruction, as it should (take note, block stackers).

Because why do the heavy lifting if you don’t have to, this is a short video of a very festive Christmas lights display on one house, and a neighbor’s ‘DITTO’ follow up. Classic. I know I’ve seen this sort of thing before but I can’t remember where because my brain is like Santa’s big red bag except you don’t have to look too close to realize it’s just a garbage bag painted red and it’s leaking dumb from the bottom.

In hey, maybe it’s time to invest in a mailbox news, this is a video of a little white pupper who absolute destroys everything that comes through the front door’s mail slot, completely thrashing it until the bill goes unpaid and you wonder why your water is getting shut off on Friday. I have a dog just like this. I also have a dog that is just the opposite of this. Yin and yang, you know? “What about it?” No I mean those are their names.

This is a video of young Liam getting a loose tooth pulled with a NERF gun shot after his dad tells him he’ll hand him the gun so he can pull the trigger when he’s ready, but then pulls the trigger himself as soon as the string is tied. Did his finger slip? Did he assume Liam was just going to chicken out? Trust issues, am I right? It’s like when you’re learning how to swim and your dad says you don’t have to jump until you’re ready then immediately kicks you off the diving board and goes back to drinking his cocktail and smoking his pipe in the shade.

Keep going for the video, which includes the mom saying they’ll double whatever the Tooth Fairy gives him so if the Tooth Fairy gives him $20, they’ll make it $40. WTF?! I got a nickel for big teeth and a penny for small ones!

This is a video of ex-NASA engineer Mark Rober’s Glitter Bomb 3.0 being opened by random package thieves, who believe they’ve just stolen a fancy pair of noise-canceling headphones. This year’s bomb includes ultra-fine glitter, fart spray, sound effects (e.g. “Merry Christmas ya filthy animal.” from Home Alone) and light effects (red and blue spinning cop lights). The reactions are mostly what you’d expect (WTF?!), the only thing missing was some Spidey-web blasting out of the box to pin them to a wall until the cops can show up to arrest them and send them to a special jail where they all have to fight each other to the death gladiator style with the winner winning nothing but the opportunity to fight the next group of arrested package thieves. “Oh wow.” Somebody stole my PS5.

Keep going for the video, actual thieving begins around 7:15.