This is a video of a married couple showing the results of attempting to paint each other’s portrait. The woman did a fair enough job of capturing her husband’s likeness, but his looks like somebody tried painting a yeti they saw while tripping on mushrooms. I imagine if I’d attempted the same artistic exercise with my girlfriend I’d be sleeping in my car tonight. “IS THIS HOW YOU SEE ME?! YOU THINK I’M A TROLL?! OH, LET ME JUST GO FIND A BRIDGE TO CLIMB UNDER SO I CAN DEMAND COINS FROM PEASANTS WHO WANT TO CROSS.” She’s…dramatic.

This trend is going to end in divorce but this couple seems to have what it takes to survive her husband's atrocious lack of artistic talent.
This is adorable pic.twitter.com/DxZCmkMHU3

— Clint Russell (@LibertyLockPod) April 6, 2024

This is a clip of a real life roadrunner vocalizing. Shockingly, it does not make the ‘Meep meep!’ we’ve all come to expect from watching cartoons. It’s more of a really quick clicking. Great, now what else have cartoons been lying to us about?! Next thing you know we’ll find out Captain Planet isn’t actually blue in real life.

@hospicelens Short, fast and furry-ous⚡️ #california #roadrunner #wileecoyote #childhood #cartoon #fyp #knoxmobile #hospice #wish #beepbeep ♬ original sound – Hospice Lens

This is a video of Norwegian musician Ramblin’ Rogers (I didn’t know Norwegians rambled at all) playing a country cover of ‘Mad About Mad About Me’ (aka ‘The Cantina Song’), made intergalactically famous by Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes in the original Star Wars movie. He doesn’t really change the song much, just the instrumentation, playing a banjo, lap steel guitar, slide guitar, acoustic guitar, bass, and drums instead of a gasan string drum, Dorenian beshniquel, fanfar, ommni box, bandfill, and kloo horn. You can tell I really did my Google research for this one. In Rogers’ own ramblin’:

Star Wars goes country and western. I needed to be a little silly. I hope someone gets a giggle out of it – We need more silly AND more giggling. Well, gotta mosey!

Well he’s certainly right about that — we DO need more silly and giggling in the world. Just, you know, not at my penis. Anybody else’s is still fair game though.

This is a video of jump roper Cen Xiaolin setting a new world speed record with an astonishing 228 jumps (technically alternate leg skips) in 30 seconds. That’s 7.6 jumps PER SECOND. Cen has been at it the speed jumping for awhile, and his record 8 years ago was only 108 jumps, so he’s more than doubled it in that time. How far can he go? My guess is ALL THE WAY. I don’t even know what that means, but I believe in him. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say I could never move that fast even if I was on fire, which I often am.

Keep going for the new record, as well as Cen’s previous record from 2016 for reference.

This is a video from Kuwait of a driver barrel rolling a Toyota FJ Cruiser on the beach and getting launched out the door into the water like the vehicle was equipped with ejector seats. Damn! He’s lucky to have limped away from that. Also, did he mean for that to happen? It almost seems too perfect. Maybe this was a cry for help. Or maybe it was just an idiot doing dumb sh1t in a vehicle like happens a million times a day all over the world. Speaking of — you think I can drift into that parking space? “That’s a cart return.” Here goes nothing!

This is a video of one of the world’s largest mozzarella sticks being made at Twisted Sourdough Pizza in Las Vegas. Apparently some folks online (typical) told the folks at Twisted that their mozz sticks WEREN’T actually the largest, so they started making them even bigger. Each $13 Famous Mozzarati Stick uses a cuboid piece of cheese approximately 10″ long and 1″ in diameter BEFORE breading and frying. I wonder how many calories each one is. Also, how many do I have to eat in one sitting to get my picture on the wall? My picture on the wall for defeating a certain number of giant mozz sticks, not projectile vomiting in the restaurant, just to be clear.

@unlokt The BIGGEST MOZZARELLA STICKS in the World? #mozzarella #mozzarellasticks #lasvegas #vegasfood #lasvegas #vegastiktok #foodontiktok #viralfood #cheesepull ♬ Still Hot – Nic D & Connor Price