This is a video of Youtuber NileBlue making American cheese (think Kraft Singles) to prove that it’s not just plastic like conspiracy theorists would apparently have you believe. I did not know conspiracy theorists would have me believe that. THE GOVERNMENT IS IN MY SKULL. Did you hear something? Basically, the FDA and other regulatory agencies don’t consider American cheese, cheese, because it’s not PURELY cheese, but cheese that’s been processed and is, more or less, cheese that’s been diluted with additional water, milk, and butter. Presumably that’s what makes it so floppy and perfect for sticking to the ceiling of a friend’s house at parties. *carving BONER into kitchen table with car key* Haha — not my house! “Look around.” Dammit! I thought I’d gone somewhere.