This is a short TikTok video of a puppy with baby teeth that look like the duck silhouettes in a shooting gallery. And just when you thought puppies couldn’t get any cuter! Impressive work, God. You know, I still have all my dog’s baby teeth in a vial I wear around my neck so we’re never apart. Do they grant me canine powers? That depends on who you ask. But if you ask the guy I bit at Home Depot, they definitely do something.

@ducky_whalen #puppy #goldenretriever #englishcreamgoldenretriever ♬ original sound – yayfdaddy

Hey I’m moving houses today so it’s been a crazy week but I’ll be back tomorrow with bruises and broken furniture. Just a heads up in case you thought I got lost in the woods again.

This is a video from the cabin of Ixonia, Wisconsin Amazon driver Alexander Evans’s truck when an Amtrak train cuts the vehicle in half right behind Alexander’s seat after crossing the tracks. This is why I always look both ways at train crossings, then turn around and go back home. Then Alexander just has to sit there with a speeding train passing a few feet behind his head and wait it out. No thank you! Also, if you ever needed any more proof that Superman doesn’t exist, this is it. He would have been there.

Thanks to Becky, who agrees heaven was clearly expecting a delivery, but Alexander refused to deliver.

This is a short clip from bartender cat_sevaress, who ordered delivery tacos (as hungry/drunk people are apt to do), and opened up her apartment door to discover a raccoon had ripped through the bottom of the bag and already begun taste-testing her tacos. I like the raccoon’s friends hanging out on the stairs. Let your buddy take the blame then swoop in for the leftovers — those are the smart raccoons. And even if she does scare you away with a broom, you know she isn’t going to eat those tacos for fear of raccooties, so you can just hang out by the apartment’s dumpster for a day or two and wait for them to show up again. It’s a win/win!

@cat_sevaress Bro raccoons run my apartment complex I can’t even #raccoon #raccoonsoftiktok #fyp ♬ Funny – Gold-Tiger

This is a full-length edit of The Wizard Of Oz cut by Matt Bucy so that every spoken word appears in alphabetical order, beginning with a ton of ‘a’s’ and ending with ‘zipper’, uttered by the Tin Man. Matt says the entire edit only took about 20 hours of work, which is crazy considering any sane person would have abandoned the project immediately after coming up with the idea. Do The Big Lebowski next!

The River Rock Doormat is a very real $90 product that exists for sale on Amazon (affiliate link, because I know you’re all going to buy one) and isn’t just a one-off made by a neighbor who considers themselves crafty and has access to a free Saturday afternoon and hot glue gun like you probably expected. The 25-pound mat (rocks are heavy) is available in four different colors (gneiss!) and is sure to bring that lake house vibe to your front porch. But what keeps the rocks in place? Silicone? Because I’ve got the feeling they’re going to become dislodged fairly easily. Especially the way I wipe my feet coming inside. I wipe my feet like I’m mad at the porch.