This is a video of a seagull entering, stealing a sandwich from, then exiting a Co-Op Food grocery store in Aberdeen, Scotland, scaring away one customer and out-maneuvering a would-be crime-stopper with a red umbrella in the process. Per the person filming while I try to train a pigeon to steal Kit-Kat bars:

“While I was walking to work I noticed Gus walking to the Co-op door to steal a sandwich, he succeeded, as usual, he is a very clever seagull.”

So not only does the seagull have a name, but you just stood there filming him while he committed this crime. You know I can’t help but feel like you’re actually an accomplice in this situation. I mean you knew what was going to happen, and you let it. Per Edmund Burke: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Thankfully, I’m not convinced you’re actually a good man, so there might still be hope for us yet.