Because nothing goes better with coal than a colorless, flavorless candy cane, this is the Bah, Humbug Candy Cane available from Archie McPhee. The 10.25-inch cane weighs 3.1-ounces and is void of “flavor, stripes, and Christmas Spirit.” They cost $4.50 apiece, which is a little bit more than I was

Nobody can argue there’s a more Christmasy song than A-Ha’s 1985 classic ‘Take On Me’. You just can’t. And this is a video of Magical Light Shows owner Tom BetGeorge’s own annual Christmas lightshow, choreographed to the song. Really gets you in the holiday spirit, doesn’t it? Tom’s show only

Because nothing quite captures the spirit of Christmas like Star Trek, this is the Star Trek U.S.S. Enterprise Musical Tree Topper With Light. And apparently Trekkies have developed future farming tech capable of growing actual money trees to fruition, because this tree topper costs $150. A cost that, admittedly, made

Are you the kind of person who decorates EVERY room of your house for the holidays? Well you’re in luck, because now there’s this Christmas Tree Toilet Plunger to sit next to the toilet in your guest bathroom, bringing Christmas cheer to everyone while they pee on the seat. Actually

Because nothing quite captures the essence of a Christmas holiday like drunk family members fighting with one another over politics/long-standing family feuds/who farted, this is a wine bottle Christmas tree. The tree holds 60 bottles of argument fuel and costs $300 on Amazon. Although I’m pretty sure it’s actually intended

Because who doesn’t want to use the carpool lane when they’re driving alone (but things look so much faster over there!), this is the inflatable Grinch Car Buddy with Scarf from Gemmy. He costs $42 on Amazon and buckles into a car seat so you have somebody to talk to

Because there’s no better way to let the loved ones on your shopping list know they’re getting guns for Christmas this year, these are the tactical Christmas stockings from Garud. The $15 stockings are available on Amazon, come in eight different colors and patterns (including pink camo and a bone

This is the Grinch arm Christmas tree accessory handmade and sold by Etsy shop Craftadaykeepdocaway (can anybody verify that claim? my deductible is killing me). The $55 arms are attached to your tree via two strong wires and make the perfect accessory for the Grinch lover on your holiday list.