Because humanity is rapidly approaching its expiration date (use by, not best by), these are Wet Pants Denim, real jeans you can buy that make it look like you pissed yourself, but are actually dry to the touch (the illusion is created via dyeing, not to be confused with dying inside, which I’m doing currently). They come in blue, black, and white styles and cost $75 a pair. If you fancy yourself more a short wetter they also have men’s and women’s shorts available for $65. Or maybe you want an existing pair of jeans peed in. You can also send them jeans to be pee stained for $30. What a deal. And all pants include “a fully custom design of the splash pattern.” Nice, I want my splash pattern to spell my initials. I also noticed in the company’s hat store they’re selling Poo Pants Denim hats — a sign of what’s to come?! Because my heart is saying please God no but my mind is saying just give it a month.

Keep going for a shot of the very intense looking white jeans.

Thanks to atheistgirl, who agrees this does make a pretty convincing argument for the whole atheist thing.