Salami: it’s the new Fruit By The Foot. This is the 3.5 meter (~11.5-foot) Die Wurstkabeltrommel (“sausage cable drum”) available from German specialty food retailer Jungborn. The Krakow-style (spicy with a firm bite) salami hose costs €17 (~$21) and has an exposed shelf life of 8 weeks. 8 weeks — like you won’t polish that thing off in two days, max. You can also buy replacement salamis for €10 (~$12). Now, are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Does it involve climbing down two salami hoses you’ve tied together to sneak out your bedroom window at night?” Fingers crossed it’s not so greasy I slip and die, because if it’s anything like a Slim Jim I’m a goner.