Because nothing goes better with coal than a colorless, flavorless candy cane, this is the Bah, Humbug Candy Cane available from Archie McPhee. The 10.25-inch cane weighs 3.1-ounces and is void of “flavor, stripes, and Christmas Spirit.” They cost $4.50 apiece, which is a little bit more than I was hoping to spend on all the friends on my naughty list, but the looks on their faces is going to be priceless. And if not then I’ll sharpen the end to a point and stab them with it. “He’ll do it too.” Haha — my brother, ladies and gentlemen! He still has a piece of candy cane in his leg from Christmas ’98.