This is a video of turtle owner Kenny James giving his turtle Sergio a little Hot Wheels car to sit on so he can zoom around the house at breakneck speeds. “Dammit, where was one of those little cars when I needed it?” I imagine Tortoise wondering after his race

This is a video of a couple bush league David Attenboroughs providing live commentary for a group of turtles attempting to stay atop a log and catch some rays after another turtle (they call him Gary but we’ll call him Michelangelo) climbs on the log and starts it rotating in

Seen here practicing his moves against the Foot Clan, a pet tortoise engages in a ramming battle with a piece of black tape stuck to its owner’s shoe. And, the moment the tape is removed, the tortoise instantly returns to friendly mode. Crazy. You think that tape reminds him of

This is a video captured by Twitter user jamie amalea pappas of two turtles playing in a pond, with one slapping the other’s face while swimming backwards, taunting it. We all have that friend. Or, should I say, we all had that friend before we finally read a self help

This is a video of a group of turtles trying to stay atop a log as it constantly rotates back and forth due to them all moving to compensate because it is constantly rotating back and forth. “Dammit, I was just trying to catch some rays!” I imagine Michelangelo exclaiming

According to the late, great Jedi master Yoda: “Size matters not.” And to prove that point, this is a video from Kruger National Park in South Africa of a small turtle repeatedly chasing lions away from his watering hole. Unfortunately, due to the lack of colored eye mask I couldn’t

This is a video of African spurred tortoise (Centrochelys sulcata, aka sulcata tortoise) Princess Neferu rubbing herself on a custom made brush system at the Badger Run Wildlife Rehab center in Klamath Falls, Oregon. Some more info while I scratch my own back with my roommate’s toothbrush because he didn’t

This is a super short video of a turtle high-fiving an alligator. Honestly, the gator doesn’t seem too involved in the gesture, its hand just appears to have been in the right place at the right time. I’m also not sure if this technically qualifies as a high-five considering its