This is the officially licensed Godzilla bust tissue dispenser made by Japanese company Rotary Hero. The box is designed to be displayed vertically, and the tissue next in line for use appears almost as if it’s smoke billowing from Godzilla’s mouth. I like how they spelled out GODZILLA on the

This is the $23 Office Possum available from Archie McPhee. It’s a stuffed 15-inch latex possum with bendable paws and tail for hanging around the office to startle coworkers. Now I don’t know who needs to hear this, but it is not for butts. OR IS IT? Seriously it’s not.

Because what good is Halloween if you can’t trick some treaters, these are the shitake mushroom flavored candy canes made and sold by Archie McPhee ($5.50 for a six-pack, regularly $6.50). Honestly, I’m not sure if I could even identify what shitake tastes like. “What about just shit?” Oh easy,

This is Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cinnadust seasoning blend, a proprietary blend of the Colonel’s eleven secret herbs and spices that’s allegedly the same crack cocaine they top the cereal with, except now you can liberally add the seasoning to your own ice cream and cookies without spending countless nights in

These are the Pizza Bandages manufactured by GAMAGO and available on Amazon ($8). Each slice measures 1.8-inch x 1.8-inch square triangle and unfortunately are not scratch-and-sniff. Which is probably for the best anyways because who doesn’t already have a hard enough time not picking and eating their scabs? “You’re sick.”

Because how can we even call this the future if we don’t have Willy Wonka’s Three Course Dinner Chewing gum yet, Brach’s has announced it will be releasing Turkey Dinner Candy Corn at Walgreens stores, packages containing six different flavored corns that taste like the various courses of a turkey

This is the officially licensed The Goonies Monopoly game made by Monopoly bastardizer USAOPOLY. It costs around $42 on Amazon and comes with properties based on movie locations, six custom sculpted tokens (little girl’s bike, copper bones, gold doubloon, statue of David, Willy’s eye patch, and skull & cross bones.

These are the Anthénea luxury floating sea pods. Each eco-friendly pod can be configured with between one and three guest rooms, each with its own kitchenette and bathroom, and “features solar panels, a popup solarium roof for dining, 360° water views with an underwater observatory, and smart home automation.” They