This is the 7-person inflatable airplane floating island manufactured by M Mark and available on Amazon. The $235 float includes two inflatable benches, two integrated coolers, four cup holders, and 100% good times. Although I have the sinking suspicion if Rose had managed to get her hands on one of

These are several photos of the Curved Flatware set created and sold by Object Rights. 3D printed in bronzed steel, you can get a 2-piece set (dinner fork and knife) for $200, 3-piece (+ spoon) for $250 and 4-piece (+ salad fork) for $300. Obviously, none of those are very

This is the Cupa Joe coffee mug made by Barbuzzo and available on Amazon ($20). It holds 20-ounces of coffee and looks like the glass carafe that sits beneath a multi-cup coffee maker. I just bought one because I love novelty coffee mugs. Plus this way the next time my

This is the ~$13 ‘Running Behind’ condiment bottle topper created by Sir Perky. It screws on to a variety of standard threaded bottle tops and makes it look like a little person is pooping out whatever is in the bottle. REAL MATURE. It also comes with a tiny butt plug

Move over sandcastles, because with Toysmith’s Bag O’ Beach Bones Playset (~$26 on Amazon) now you’ll be able to mold FULL-SIZE SKELETAL REMAINS on the beach with its 14 individual bone-shaped pieces. Honestly, I was a little skeptical about the product’s quality at first, but after I saw the 5-star

This is the Etsy listing for the Adult Size Armored Bionic Skin T-Rex Costume available from animatronic and costume creature makers MCSDINO out of China. The costume measures approximately 20-feet long and 7.5-feet tall, and requires 1-2 foot tall stilts to walk in. It features a clownfish inspired paint job,

Because dreams really do come true occasionally, these are the Cute Poop Emoji Plush Slippers manufactured by YINGGG and available on Amazon for $20. Perhaps most shockingly, the US size 5 – 8 slippers have 4.5/5 stars with 272 reviews. Obviously, these are not the shitty slippers I was expecting.

this is the Toilet Timer ($15 on Amazon), a five-minute sand hourglass style timer to remind you that you’ve already done enough scrolling on Instagram, it’s time to wipe and get off the pot. Me? I don’t get up until both my legs are painfully numb and I have to