As part of my ongoing commitment to public health, this is a video from emergency medical service provider Kieram Litchfield detailing what different colored urine means about your health, adding food coloring to toilet water and stirring the faux-pee with what I assume is a roommate’s cereal spoon. From kidney damage to dehydration to infections, all the different colors of urine are explained. My urine? This morning it indicated I’m slightly dehydrated, and peeing on the bathroom rug.

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This is a short video of Josiah Ross’s adopted orange cat Philip reacting to Josiah leaving the apartment. Philip does not take it well, and as commenters pointed out, Josiah should probably get another cat to keep Philip company (the more the merrier, that’s my motto, but only up to 4 — at 5 you’re a crazy cat person by default and will have to embrace it). So, if you were wondering if you should ever leave the house with pets at home, the answer is no. There is nothing better outside. You have all the love you need at home, and grocery stores deliver. Any excuse to actually leave the house is just the devil trying to convince you to go out and have a bad time. Don’t listen to him.

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This is a video of 19-year old American figure skater Ilia Malinin at the 2024 World Championships setting a new world record for highest free skate score with a very respectable 227.79, beating fellow American Nathan Chen’s previous 224.92 set at the 2019-20 Grand Prix Final. The routine, which gave me Final Fantasy vibes and the announcers describe as “untouchable” and one of the greatest moments in sports history, consists of SIX quad jumps (quadruple Axel, quad Lutz, quad loop, quad Salchow, quad Lutz, quad toe loop, and BONUS triple Lutz-triple Axel finale), which Ilia executes beautifully. For reference, the last time my girlfriend took me ice skating they had to run the zamboni twice in a row to get all my blood off the ice, and they never did find two of my teeth.

A woman recently drove her Mercedes through the entirety of the Cobra Smoke Shop & Vape Store in Fullerton, California, eventually tearing through the back of the building like the Kool-Aid Man making a hasty exit. Police arrested the woman for driving under the influence. Police didn’t specify what influence she was driving under, but I suspect it was the influence of another smoke shop owner in the area.

Thanks to JustA, who agrees a franchise of drive-thru smoke shops is probably a pretty lucrative business idea.

I’ve been meaning to post this for a little while now but things got in the way. Namely, my forgetfulness. This is a video of New York City’s Microwave Man (aka makethehoodsmile) coming in hotter than a grease fire on his little dirt bike to spit some valuable knowledge. Knowledge about change and growth often requiring one to deal with uncomfortable situations. Me? I’m the king of sitting in uncomfortable situations, although I can’t say I’ve grown much. At least not since high school. “I think he means growth like, personal development.” So do I.

Because VR/AR is not the distraction most people need in their lives no matter how hard Apple or Facebook tries to convince them otherwise, this is a video of an idiot wearing Apple’s Vision Pro at a fine dining establishment (already a red flag), and accidentally (debatable) breaking a glass on the table while playing a virtual plate-smashing game because “he forgot he was in real life.” He doesn’t even take off the headset after the accident and an employee has come over to clean up his mess. That’s how you know he’s a turd — not that it probably hasn’t already screamingly obvious for the past decade. People don’t just wake up turds one day, they develop in the colon over time.