These are a couple Instagram videos of Flare Fabrications using a powerful burning laser to clean the grime off of a penny and dime, leaving a Mike Tyson style face tattoo on George Washing in the process, and cool guy shades on Roosevelt. Now I want one of those lasers. And not just so I can clean all my disgusting pocket change, but God knows how many butts these coins have been in. At least one, I do know that.

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A post shared by FLARE FABRICATION, LLC (@flare_fabrication)

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A post shared by FLARE FABRICATION, LLC (@flare_fabrication)

This is a video of talented acapella group MayTree (previously) covering the theme song from Thomas & Friends. They do a splendid job, five out of five finger in the cheek popping sounds. You know, when I was growing up children’s programming didn’t have theme songs. As a matter of fact we didn’t even have children’s programming, we spent our Saturday mornings huddled against a rock wall hoping the sabertooth tiger didn’t venture too deep into the cave. Those cave paintings? They weren’t mammoths, I just really suck at drawing penises.

This is a video of game-loving Australian Shepherd Spot playing a little Connect Four with her human and rage-quitting after her three-in-a-row gets blocked (valiant effort trying to cover the hole with her muzzle so the move couldn’t be made though). Honest, I don’t blame her, I do the exact same thing. My friends all call me a poor sport, but I prefer to think of myself as a spirited loser.

This is a video of Action Movie Dad’s action movie children playing with a leafblower he modded into a kid-friendly flamethrower with a length of colored fabric. Pretty clever. Now I’m sure there are some other parents out there who would just let their children play with actual fire in order to teach them valuable life lessons. And I’m not saying that’s the right or wrong thing to do, I’m just saying my girlfriend and I have been dropped from several adoption agencies based on my answers to their questionnaires.

Did we just build the best toy ever? pic.twitter.com/vej6T9bZNX

— ActionMovieDad (@ActionMovieKid) August 2, 2022

This is a video of ABC 7 Chicago weatherman Greg Dutra, who discovers the weather monitor is actually a touchscreen, and instantly turns into a big child. Precious moments. Also, you’d really think the IT department would have let him know the weather monitor was actually a touchscreen, but noooooooo, I never hear from them except when I accidentally surf erotica on my computer computer.

Thanks again to my dad, who agrees it’s the little things. Plus sometimes the big things that could actually help you do your job better.

This is some produce section security cam footage (presumably installed due to peach thievery) of an elderly woman and supermarket employee, who have made it tradition to have a little standoff whenever she’s in the market (does he wear a baguette vest all the time?). How precious is that! I mean, minus the pretending to point guns at each other. This is a celery stick-up, give me all your coconuts! Man, I wish I shopped there.

Thanks to my dad, who agrees there’s good everywhere, you just have to look really hard.