This is a video of incredibly skilled cyclist Danny MacAskill downhilling the massive granite slabs on Scotland’s Isle Of Skye, where he’s from. His goal was to try to ride The Slabs in the most continuous line that he could. Now I don’t know about you, but my hands started sweating almost the moment the video started. *shrug* I suppose some people just have to live their life on the edge, you know? Me? I like to live my life on the edge too — the edge of the sofa reaching for the chips and soda on the coffee table, am I right?! High-five! Come on, anybody? What, is it because of all the Cheetos dust?

Keep going for the video, as well as a behind-the-scenes video if you’re interested.

In today’s technology is tricky news, this is a video from a predominately virtual House Of Representatives Financial Services committee meeting about the latest COVID-19 relief bill starring Republican representative Tom Emmer appearing as a disembodied upside-down head due to an activated Zoom filter. Per one of his hip constituents: “At least you’re not a cat,” very cleverly referencing the lawyer that appeared with a cat filter on during a recent virtual court hearing. I bet everyone else who’d seen the video was pissed that person beat them to the joke, and those who hadn’t seen it not being sure which icon they’re supposed to click to open their internet browser. Is it this one, or is that PDF?

These are two videos of musician Marc Chouarain performing the Interstellar and Harry Potter themes on a crystal baschet (aka crystal organ). What’s a crystal baschet? Hey — I donated, Wikipedia, don’t you side-eye me:

Models of the crystal organs range from 3.5 to 6 octaves and are made of 56 chromatically tuned glass rods. To play it, musicians rub the rods with wet fingertips.

Metal rods are embedded in a heavy plate to form the elements. Each metal rod is accompanied by an attached glass rod. The metal rod’s length, weight and position at the equilibrium point determine the sound’s pitch. The glass rod is gently stroked with a wet finger to produce sound.

The vibration of the rod with greater amplitude and weaker pressure is transmitted into the metal fitting. This causes a transformation in the vibrations and the shape of the wave produced. The vibrations propagating through the metal have a high pressure and a weak amplitude. This amplification in pressure is the result of fiberglass cones that are fixed in a wood frame alongside a tall, cut-out metal part in the shape of a flame. “Whiskers,” placed on the side of the instrument, amplify high-pitched sounds.

Fascinating. The sound the instrument produces is really…out of this world. Get it? Because he plays the Interstellar theme. The sound it makes when he’s playing the Harry Potter theme is– “Absolutely magical!” DAMMIT *pounding keyboard* WELL WHY DON’T YOU JUST WRITE THE WHOLE NEXT ARTICLE FOR ME THEN?

Because this is the world we live in, these are the ‘Wearing Mask On Bottom of Chin Illusion’ face masks made by Maskalike. They’re available in ten different styles in a variety of skin tones and cost $28. You can also send them photos of your own mug and they’ll make one that blends with your actual face perfectly. I’ve included a video of a guy who did that and goes into a car dealership to prank the people working there, because, again, this is the world we live in. It’s not the best by any means.

Keep going for a video of the Olympic gold medalist of pranking.

This is a video of Austin, Texas based Sideserf Cakes owner Natalie Sideserf demonstrating how to make a very realistic looking corn on the cob cake. Mmmm, bitcorns. Personally, I feel like the whole thing should have a glossy exterior like the bit under the melted butter for even extra realism. Of course constructing a realistic corn on the cob cake does involve making and placing a ton of individual corn kernels, leading me to believe it would just be a lot easier to make a shitty, burnt Funfetti cake like I always do. *pretends to jump out of small, lopsided cake, rips shirt off* HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, HONEY! “I just got you that shirt for Christmas.” Sooooo…should we get naked here or up in bed?

This is a video from Guinness World Records of the world’s longest uninterrupted drone light display (26 minutes and 19 seconds), achieved with the use of 600 Agile Bee II drones by the EFYI Group in collaboration with Tianjin University in Tianjin, China. The display, which has been sped up to to fit in an eight minute video, tells the story of Vincent Van Gogh’s life. Of course as you watch the video you can see how fast the timer in the corner is counting, so watching the show in real life the animations would have been much more– what’s the word I’m looking for? “Lame.” Slow. I believe the answer I was looking for was ‘slow’.