These are a couple shots of a triggerfish that appears to have human lips and teeth. Some more info while I call Ursula on my conch shell phone and demand answers:

“This mouthy triggerfish was reportedly caught in Malaysia. According to National Geographic, triggerfish “use very tough teeth and jaws to take on sea urchins, flipping them over to get at their bellies, which are armed with fewer spines.”

Man, I don’t care how many times it swears it will turn into a beautiful mermaid if I do, I am not kissing that fish. “How’d you get that bite on your lip?” OH LIKE YOU WOULDN’T HAVE.