This is a short video of videographer and digital marketer Tyler demonstrating the analog three-factor authentication required (opening the stove door, turning the stove light on, and turning the front left burner to high — he says medium but it’s high) to open a kitchen drawer in the home he just purchased in Fishkill, New York. Such high security! For reference, I have a kitchen drawer that won’t open because there’s a big wooden spoon wedged in there just right to prevent it unless you yell the magic passphrase (“I swear I’ll burn this f***ing house to the ground!”) and repeatedly slam the door open and closed until the spoon or drawer breaks.

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