Florida Man: North Carolina edition
North Carolina Man Leads Police On Low-Speed Chase In Tractor

Because you have to work with what you’re given, and if you aren’t given anything you steal a tractor and make a run for it, this is a video from North Carolina of 43-year old Ronnie Hicks (despite the perfect North Carolina name, I assume he’s actually visiting from Florida and trying to get back) leading authorities on a low-speed chase in a stolen John Deere, at break-neck speeds up to 20MPH (I like how the chase is actually holding up traffic). Clearly, he thought this all the way through.

Along the way, Hicks struck a Boone county police car, a dumpster, a church and several vehicles, though no injuries were sustained.

Eventually he pulled into a private drive, abandoned the stolen tractor, fled on foot, turned, brandished a knife, was Tased by officers and arrested.

That sounds about right. No word if Hicks will be extradited to Florida where he belongs, but knowing Florida, he’ll probably be awarded a medal and 1/16th ownership of a time-share instead of getting the alligator penalty like I suggested.