In the future humans won’t even wear shoes, we’ll all have rocket boots that come out of our legs like Iron Man’s suit. Or we’ll evolve to have hooves like horses, it could go either way. This is the Nike GO Flyease, a shoe that can be put on and

Because nothing quite captures the spirit of Christmas like Star Trek, this is the Star Trek U.S.S. Enterprise Musical Tree Topper With Light. And apparently Trekkies have developed future farming tech capable of growing actual money trees to fruition, because this tree topper costs $150. A cost that, admittedly, made

Because who doesn’t want the salty, vinegar-y taste of a pickle on their lips at all times, this is Mr. Pickle’s World Famous Pickle Lip Balm ($12 on Amazon). Questionable world fame aside, the $12 lip balm seems to be promoted as a gag gift, which makes sense since(!) I

This is the Puking Kitty Gravy Boat originally created by glass artist Ginger Ames all the way back in 2012, which were only available for a limited time and quickly sold out. Well now Ginger and her husband have decided to start reselling the puking kitties after being featured on

Because who has the space for a whole tree, this is ‘The Against The Wall Christmas Tree’ available from purveyor of things nobody really needs Hammacher Schlemmer for $250. It’s available pre-lit with all white lights or multicolored. Would a full tree cost $500? We may never know. Or care.

Because what good is Halloween if you can’t trick some treaters, these are the shitake mushroom flavored candy canes made and sold by Archie McPhee ($5.50 for a six-pack, regularly $6.50). Honestly, I’m not sure if I could even identify what shitake tastes like. “What about just shit?” Oh easy,

Because how can we even call this the future if we don’t have Willy Wonka’s Three Course Dinner Chewing gum yet, Brach’s has announced it will be releasing Turkey Dinner Candy Corn at Walgreens stores, packages containing six different flavored corns that taste like the various courses of a turkey

this is the Toilet Timer ($15 on Amazon), a five-minute sand hourglass style timer to remind you that you’ve already done enough scrolling on Instagram, it’s time to wipe and get off the pot. Me? I don’t get up until both my legs are painfully numb and I have to