Biking: I’m cool just doing it around my neighborhood or to the closest beer store. Sometimes I’ll even do a bunny hop to impress the neighborhood kids. Some people though, some people need more extreme biking than that. And apparently cyclist Gee Atherton needs to blast down the 2,185-foot vertical summit Ridgeline trail at the Dyfi Bike Park in Wales like any sort of failure to the left hand side wouldn’t result in a very long fall down a very steep cliff. I swear, the people that do this…they must have sort of like, special…piece of their brain missing or something what the hell is wrong with them I’m scared crossing the road even when there aren’t any cars coming. “That’s not even a road, that’s your driveway.” Exactly!

There’s nothing quite like staring into a fire, you know? Especially when that fire is a burning goblin camp. This is the D20 fire pit available from Bellingham, Washington based Etsy shop FoxFabricationLLC. The 90-pound, 1/4 steel pit is available completely assembled ($400 +$300 shipping with any shipping cost under $300 refunded), or as two $145 weld-it-yourself kits (plus shipping, both required but sold separately to ensure 70-lb max flat rate shipping option). Alternatively, if you live near Bellingham, Washington or don’t mind a drive you can opt for free local pick up. Me? I always opt for free local pickup because I like to get out of the house whenever I can. “And stay out!” my dad always jokes when he’s slamming the door behind me. That guy — wait are you changing the locks?

This is a video from Austria of someone filming their Christmas tree dangling from the ceiling “so the cats couldn’t destroy it. It didn’t work.” Well of course it didn’t work. Cats, like John Wick, are animals of focus, commitment, and sheer will. If they want to do something, they’re going to do it, and you’ll wonder how the hell the cat ever got on top of the fridge in the first place. Was it just one giant leap for catkind, or was it some sort of supernatural parkour? If you’re lucky, you have some security cam footage so you can see for yourself. If you’re unlucky, you have to cut giant holes in four walls to find and get the cat out. *ahem* Sammy!

You know what your bathroom needs? A plush Bob-omb toilet paper holder! “I don’t know about that.” I WILL RIP DOWN YOUR SHOWER CURTAIN ROD AND BREAK YOUR TOILET TANK WITH IT. Lol, two pots of coffee already. This is the ~$27 Bob-omb Toilet Paper Holder. The end of the toilet paper coming out the top of his head looks like a wick. Just how freely can you pull that toilet paper out though, because I live a life of constant bathroom emergencies. As Technabob pointed out, I think this might be more practical as a decorative spare toilet paper holder than your primary roll holder. Plus, you know, it’s plush. Plush doesn’t really have a place in bathrooms except for towels and bath mats. Because I grew up with a best friend whose entire bathroom was carpeted. I didn’t even feel comfortable walking in there barefoot, so I would always try to pee from the doorway, which, now that I think about it, was probably just contributing to the problem. *shrug* Not my bathroom.

What better way to celebrate the end of 2020 than with the 200 fastest cup stacking stacks of the year? I can’t think of anything. I mean this is like, 28 minutes of pure, blood-pumping adrenaline. I watched it first thing when I woke up this morning and I didn’t even need coffee. I mean I still drank a whole pot, but I didn’t need to. Then I pushed my car to work. This year’s countdown starts with an almost sloth-like finish time of 5.434-seconds, and ends with a greased lightning completion of 4.472-seconds. “That’s only 0.962 seconds from 200th place to 1st.” Yeah well in cup stacking that’s like a light-year’s difference. “Light-years are a measure of distance, not time.” Shut up, nerd!

Bats: they’re humanity’s closest flying relatives. Is that true? I have no clue, I just run my mouth trying to sound convincing until somebody tells me to shut it, threatens to punch me, or punches me. This is a video from BBC Two of bats flying in both slow motion and some x-ray footage to reveal the secrets of their flight. And what secrets they are! So, if you were wondering what Batman watches when he’s feeling sexy at night all alone in the Bat Cave, this is it. “But I tho–” Well you thought wrong, Robin.