Because giving the crowd what they want is one of the earmarks of a true performer, this is a video of a cross country runner intentionally Supermanning himself into a mud puddle to appease the cheering fans, fulfilling even their dirtiest fantasies. Good times. Knowing my luck, the bottom of that mud pit would have been lined with jagged rocks, shredding my body immediately upon entry, earning me the unfortunate nickname Bloody Mudbutt. Kids for generations to come daring each other to close their eyes and repeat my name three times in darkened bathroom stalls.

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