Because my circus is always looking for a new act, this is an unsolicited video audition of a man hanging from some aerial straps picking up a woman spinning five hula hoops WITH HIS MOUTH. For reference, my grandma’s teeth would have come out well before that woman was off the ground. If they come out eating Thanksgiving dinner, they don’t stand a chance supporting a woman’s weight. Hey honey — remember when they fell into the candied yams as they were getting passed around? “I screamed.” I still had some.

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