Because harebrained schemes are all the rage these days, a Texas high school teacher and Army veteran formally known as Dustin Ebey has legally changed his name to Literally Anybody Else and is running for president. Well, he’s got my vote! I mean, if I could vote. Stupid felonies. Some details about Dusti– I mean Literally’s, cause:

“I don’t care as much about winning the Oval Office, but it is important that the message gets through to…the powers that be, who decide who ends up on the ballot,” he told The Hill Wednesday. “Ultimately, that’s what I’m fighting against. ‘Literally anybody else’ should not be as popular as it is.”

“This isn’t about me, ‘Literally Anybody Else,’ more so as it is an idea. We can do better out of 300 million people for president,” he first told WFAA88 earlier this week.

Ah, so he’s making a statement and doesn’t actually expect to win. Big shocker there. Also, how do I know this guy isn’t just trying to draw votes away from one of the candidates to help the other win? Nice try, but I watched Scandal, I know how politics work.