Ron: “And I’ll have the number eight.” Server: “That’s a party platter, it serves twelve people.” Ron: “I know what I’m about son.”
Parks And Rec’s Ron Swanson In Half-Life 2

Because this is the internet and the internet will never stops internetting until I decide I’ve had enough and push the big red button (I get closer every day — recent afternoons I’ve even been lifting its clear plastic cover and caressing the button with my index finger), this is a video of Parks and Recreation’s Ron Swanson edited into Half-Life 2 by Youtuber eli_handle_b․wav, who may be a self-aware audio file. That’s not terrifying at all. *lifting button cover* “Don’t do it!” Think what a relaxing weekend it could be.