You know what the world has been missing? “Gold glitter taco sneakers.” Exaaactly. And now Dolls Kill has filled that folded tortilla shaped void with these Current Mood Salsa Time Taco Sneakers. The shoes cost $88 and ‘have a gold glitter construction, adjustable lace-up closures, and platform soles.’ Those are

You know what your bathroom needs? A plush Bob-omb toilet paper holder! “I don’t know about that.” I WILL RIP DOWN YOUR SHOWER CURTAIN ROD AND BREAK YOUR TOILET TANK WITH IT. Lol, two pots of coffee already. This is the ~$27 Bob-omb Toilet Paper Holder. The end of the

Children: it’s fun to pretend they’re just tiny old people which is really what they are so it isn’t even that hard to pretend. You could have the worst imagination and it would still be easy. Enter the False Teether from Fred and available from Firebox. It’s a teething ring

Sharks: everyone is afraid of them, and people who aren’t are liars. Enter these 12-foot great white shark models created and sold by Etsy shop Cakeboard Designs. Made from fiberglass and resin, they’re available in both hanging ($1,400) and standing ($1,600) models, and will make the perfect addition to your

Salami: it’s the new Fruit By The Foot. This is the 3.5 meter (~11.5-foot) Die Wurstkabeltrommel (“sausage cable drum”) available from German specialty food retailer Jungborn. The Krakow-style (spicy with a firm bite) salami hose costs €17 (~$21) and has an exposed shelf life of 8 weeks. 8 weeks —

Because nothing goes better with coal than a colorless, flavorless candy cane, this is the Bah, Humbug Candy Cane available from Archie McPhee. The 10.25-inch cane weighs 3.1-ounces and is void of “flavor, stripes, and Christmas Spirit.” They cost $4.50 apiece, which is a little bit more than I was

Because nothing quite captures the spirit of Christmas like Star Trek, this is the Star Trek U.S.S. Enterprise Musical Tree Topper With Light. And apparently Trekkies have developed future farming tech capable of growing actual money trees to fruition, because this tree topper costs $150. A cost that, admittedly, made

Are you the kind of person who decorates EVERY room of your house for the holidays? Well you’re in luck, because now there’s this Christmas Tree Toilet Plunger to sit next to the toilet in your guest bathroom, bringing Christmas cheer to everyone while they pee on the seat. Actually