In very valuable information news, this is a video of a pile of ketchup aging over the course of 21 days as its exposed to the elements. I learned a lot about our own mortality watching it. I’m kidding, but I did notice some tiny bugs showed up around day three and never left. Those reminded me of friends of mine. Also, I bet you anything aged ketchup starts showing up as an ingredient on $22 burgers at fancy restaurants. Everything’s a gimmick these days. “You’re an idiot sandwich.” I’ll pound your face like dough, Gordon Ramsay!