This is the $12 Magic Tap, a battery operated automatic drink dispenser “with a universal cap that fits most containers” so you can dispense milk or juice or anything else from a large-mouth bottle with the press of your glass against its lever. That way you don’t even have to remove the bottle from the fridge! That’s great. Now if we could just figure out how to attach these things to nipples we could make a fortune selling them as breast pumps. *tapping head* I’m a thinker. “Wait did you say thinker or shitbrain idiot?” They don’t even rhyme.