Because nature calls, this is a video of a grazing cow somewhere far more beautiful than where I live stopping by a nearby restaurant’s dining patio to casually pee a waterfall, presumably in an attempt to impress guests and solicit tips. “Absolutely disgusting!” I imagine a customer exclaiming before I ask them where they think the beer they’re drinking comes from on what I can only assume turns out to be my last shift as a waiter there.

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