Be still my heart.
David Hasselhoff Gets The Chia Pet Treatment

Because occasionally drunken cheeseburger-eating prayers do get answered, this is the $20 David Hasselhoff Chia Pet available for pre-order from Entertainment Earth (presumably among other places). Obviously, as far as Chia Pets to practice your kissing on go, this is a pretty good one. Also Bob Ross and any of the Golden Girls. Fun fact: did you know chia and chai are apparently two totally different things? Because *wiping tongue on napkin* this tea is not good.