Because cargo shorts never went out of style (despite what everyone who sees me wearing them says — carpenter pants too), Hot Pockets has created a pair of shorts with an insulated hot pocket for keeping your Hot Pocket nice and toasty. Obviously, XZibit is into this. Hot Pockets, best known for melting the inside of my mouth on countless late Friday and Saturday nights, teamed up with the Columbus Fashion Alliance to make the shorts, which feature a cold pocket on one side, and a hot pocket on the other. There is no warm pocket in the middle, just your privates. The shorts will launch soon in their online store, and are sure to sell like hot cakes. Or, in this case, pockets. Still, I can’t say I’m thrilled about the idea of molten marinara sauce so close to my meatballs.

Thanks to my buddy ClosetNerd, who agrees Hot Pockets might actually be on to something here if those pockets could also fit pizza slices and tacos.