This is some babycam footage of what sleeping like a baby looks like in real life. It does not look as cool, calm, and comfortable as you might have been led to believe (or not if you’ve already had kids of your own). That baby straddles its mom’s face several times in the night, and she just takes it. And when it’s not doing that, it’s pulling her hair. And this is exactly why I’ll never let my baby sleep in the bed with me. They can sleep in the barn just like my parents made me. I’m kidding, my parents didn’t actually make me sleep in a barn. And I’m not just saying that because my dad is the one who sent me this tip so I know he’ll be reading this, that’s only partly the reason. The other reason is it was really a chicken coop.

Thanks to my dad, who never used to stop to drop us off at school, only slow down.