This is a video highlighting the guinea pig loving lives of Sophie and Mark Masons Cavies, who care for 150 guinea pigs and compete with one another to see “who gets to be the best with looking after them with love and affection.” As far as competitions go, that’s an admirable one to be in. And squeaky. A typical meal:

On an average feed we’d go through five flat lettuce, 30 tomatoes, six cucumbers, five oranges, eight apples, four pointy cabbage or kale, 16 red peppers, four bunches of parsley, two bags of spinach, and about two and a half kilos of carrots

For reference, on my average feed I’ll go through an entire box of sugary cereal and a half gallon of oat milk. Then I’ll top that off with an extra helping of side-eye from my girlfriend because I’m supposed to be eating healthy and not have bits of Count Chocula dried in my happy trail.