Booze: like most retail stores I’ve been asked to leave, bars don’t like it when you bring some in from outside. Enter the bangle bracelet flask available from online retailer Ali Express. The ~$12 bracelet is available in silver, rose gold, or rainbow colored finish and holds approximately 3.5-ounces of your favorite hootch. Obviously, there’s no way that is ever going to fit over my hand ankle, so– “It’s called a wrist.” Whatever, my point is I’ll just have to wear it– “No, it isn’t going to fit on your penis.” Haha, well not without making it the size of a tractor tire it’s not.

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