I'm garbage!
Porch Pirate Disguised As Trash Bag Steals Package

This is some home security cam footage from a Sacramento, California home featuring Solid Snake (apparently he couldn’t find a decent box) stealing a package from a porch while cleverly (that can’t be the right word) disguised as a trash bag. It’s giving me E.T. on Halloween vibes. I imagine the culprit, who appears to be female based on her feet and footwear, was more concerned about not being identified than having someone believe she’s an anthropomorphic trash bag. But who knows, drugs make you think crazy sh1t. Also, at first I thought this was just somebody testing their home security cam because I thought I saw a person standing in the doorway, but, unfortunately, the free trial of my zoom-and-enhance software expired and I’m not paying $119/month until some new UFO/bigfoot footage gets released.