Fine, but you better call me Michelangelo.
Wearable Plush Turtle Shell Designed To Help Reduce Anxiety

The Snuggle Shell is a real product that exists for adults, designed to be worn like a backpack and provide “the comfort of a soothing hug” and “help alleviate anxiety.” Or to pretend you’re a Ninja Turtle. The shells are available in two adult sizes ($50 S/M and $70 Megasize — wow, is that what we’re calling anything above medium now?!) and come in green, pink, and blue. According to the website, the shell allows a wearer to “Embrace the best of both worlds — its cozy warmth allows you to unwind while its flexibility ensures you can move freely and continue to conquer the day.” But does it really help alleviate anxiety? Not if that anxiety is about people asking you why you’re wearing a plush turtle shell.

[BELOW: Accurate usage]