Dammit, I said you're going the wrong way!
World’s Oldest Two-Headed Tortoise Celebrates 25th Birthday

This is a video highlighting the life of Janus, the world’s oldest two-headed tortoise, who just celebrated 25 years on the planet. Janus is actually almost two whole tortoises in one, with all internal organs duplicated except the small and large intestines, bladder, and kidney. Damn, happy 25th birthday! Of course that’s only like seven years old in tortoise years. You think the Ninja Turtles showed up to his birthday party? BECAUSE THEY SURE AS HELL DIDN’T COME TO ANY OF MINE. What a bunch of jerks. I’m pretty sure I did see Master Splinter at one though, but only very briefly before he disappeared back into the kitchen wall.