Because nothing is sacred in this world, the outside-the-box (but it’s a pizza) thinkers at Fong’s Pizza of Des Moines, Iowa has introduced Loopy Fruits, a Froot Loops topped breakfast pizza that includes “sour cream and cream cheese sauce, mozzarella cheese, and topped with Greek yogurt drizzle,” presumably to take advantage of the nearby college students who have gotten too high. Per my girlfriend every time I try to get her to eat an olive: “I could but I really don’t want to.”

Keep going for a couple more shots and a local news report about the breakfast pie while I start hitchhiking.