Shots! Shots! Shots!
Party Time!: The Six Shot Quick-Pourer And Carrier

Because pouring shots takes time (I’m talking valuable seconds here) — time you could spend drinking instead, this is the $26 quick shot dispenser. You just pour into the middle of the bowl above, and it distributes booze relatively evenly into the shot glasses below (which can be individually plugged in case you only want to pour three or four shots because you’re drinking alone). Some product details clearly written by somebody who was wasted:

The shot glass dispenser is to an unforgettable party what water is to fish. Imaging that Whisky, Cocktail, Brandy or Brown Wine flowing through the glittering and translucent dispenser, it will display a fairyland of dancing wine drops flashes, as the varicolored drops catches the light of innumerable lamps. Leisurely you stay with your families or friends, continuous interaction on various topics attracting both of you. What a amazing and memorable scene it would be!

Huh? We are talking about the same cheap piece of molded plastic here, right? I mean this is not fancy, this is something I’d expect to find sticky in a college sophomore’s first off-campus apartment and NOT ON MY OFFICE DESK LIKE IT IS RIGHT NOW, HIYO — LET’S PARTY. “It’s 9:00AM.” Did you say 9:00AM or happy hour? “It’s actually 8:52AM.” *takes both our shots* YO-HO-LO-HO.