Purveyor of solid standard hot sauces Cholula (I’m particularly fond of Original and Chili Lime) has teamed up with maker of kitchen and bath tools simplehuman to bring us this Touch-Free Hot Sauce Dispenser. Dropping at noon on December 1st for $130 (with free shipping and 64-ounce starter bottle of Cholula), the battery operated unit dispenses hot sauce for as long as a hand is placed above its proximity sensor. Simple enough. Obviously, the idea is to help prevent the spread of germs and viruses via reduced physical contact. But uh, but I thought hot sauce killed all germs and viruses anyway. “You’re kidding, right?” Haha, of course I am. “Is that why your hands are stained red?” What if I told you that’s the blood of my enemies?

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